Potatoes?
by Andi Lee
Summary: Lily Evans had the perfect life, good grades, awsome friends, supportive parents. The only problem was James Potter. Good, respectable girls aren't supposed to have stalkers or random mid-night conversations with their stalkers about... potatoes?
1. Chapter 1: Dumbledore has lost it

Potatoes?

Chapter 1: Dumbledore has lost it…

Disclaimer: Sadly, I own nothing. It would be pretty sick if I did, wouldn't it?

Rating: K+ for mild language and not too much more.

Lily stared out her window, with a clump of ice held to her face. The fight that occurred an hour earlier had ended with the red outline of Petunia's bony hand plastered across her delicate cheek. Tears rolled from her eyes as she recalled the day that her relationship with Petunia had dramatically changed.

6 years earlier she had ventured into her room to find an owl on her bed. Terrified she ran to find her older sister. Petunia helped her remove the parchment from the creature's leg. Opening the letter they read the remarkable words inside. Lily was overjoyed, she was a witch. She was going to be able to go to a special school. Petunia didn't believe it. Later when Lily left for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry Petunia had the notion in her head that her younger sister was a freak and no longer deserved her love. After that they were never the same again, and Lily missed her big sister.

Lily awoke the next morning in a puddle of water on her windowsill. The rays of sunshine forced her eyes open and the smell of waffles awoke her. Looking at the clock she realized that she had only twenty minutes until she was supposed to meet her best friend, Cori, in Diagon Alley. She got up and washed her bruised face, pulling her beautiful red hair back into a ponytail. She apparated to the Leaky Cauldron, though not before her parents reminded her that they were all going to the Dursley's so that they could meet Petunia's new boyfriend and his family.

Arriving at the Leaky Cauldron she immediately saw the girl she was looking for. The tall, stunning girl waved at her from across the room. Cori ran over and gave her a huge hug. Looking into her big brown eyes she could see the happiness, but there was something odd about the look she had. "Cori?"

"Lily."

"Cori? What did you do?"

"What?"

"You have that look in your eyes."

"What look?" She said innocently, with a smile.

"Cori."

"Okay, okay," She said hiding her face in her hands, "I agreed to go on a date with Sirius."

"You what?!"

"I didn't… It's… I…I'm sorry."

"Why? He's obnoxious, and egotistical, and stupid, and arrogant, and… and stupid"

"Lily. I know you don't like him or James, but have you seen him without a shirt on?" She pleaded with a smile on her face. They both broke out into laughter and though Lily was not happy about it, she could deal with Sirius for Cori's sake.

They strolled down Diagon Alley slowly collecting their school supplies talking about anything and everything, until Lily heard the most awful sound imaginable. "Evans. How are you beautiful?"

The sound of James Potters voice echoed in her head and she felt rage gather within her. "Potter," She replied civilly through gritted teeth. It took all her strength not to hex him into oblivion right then and there.

"So, my darling Evans how have you been all summer, without my love to light up your day?" James inquired with a happy, romantic tone in his voice.

"Yes Lil-y-kins. How has your summer been?" She heard a second voice ask. Sirius Blacks tan, smug face appeared 3-inches away from hers. He was quickly jolted backward and another, smiling face appeared. This one was not as obnoxious, egotistical, stupid and arrogant. Blonde hair fell over big blue eyes and a large smile was much more welcoming than the smirks of the other two boys. "Hey Lil," Remus Lupin greeted her.

"Hello Remus," she said smiling, "how are you?"

"He's a boring book worm like usual," said James poking fun at his friend. His jet black hair, sparkling smile and masculine features made Lily want to slap him.

"But we love him anyway, right Mooney," Sirius finished.

"Sorry fellas, we have shopping to do." Cori said, grabbing Lily's arm and picking up the pace and heading off in another direction, though the band of miscreants fallowed anyway. They finished much of their shopping with the boys in tow.

After a long day of shopping the five teens sat down at a table and ordered ice cream and carried on with their random conversations. "So Evans, you got Head Girl right?" James asked with mild curiosity.

"Yes Potter, why do you ask?"

"Aren't you looking forward to working with the head boy?"  
"I'm still not sure who it is. Why do you know?"

"I hear he is handsome, intelligent, talented and very sexy"

"Keep it in your pants Potter."

"Hahaha. You're hilarious Lil. So, do you know who it is yet?"  
"Ummm…nope"

"It's the love of your life. Yours truly." The look of amusement on Lily's face disappeared and a look of horror replaced it.

"You have got to be kidding me. Has Dumbledore completely lost it?" She screamed, "Oh my God that just ruined my entire year, my entire life!"

"Calm down, now we'll have lots of time to get to know each other." James said with a smile.

"Time? Oh crap, what time is it?" Lily said frantically forgetting everything about James.

"It's 6:30, why?" Cori answered.

"Shit! I was supposed to be back half an hour ago, Petunia is going to kill me!"

Lily apparated away quickly after bidding her friend good-bye. Arriving home she heard a shriek… "FREAK!!".

"I'm sorry Petunia. I lost track of-"

"How could you do this to me! What the hell is your problem. Why are you out to ruin my life?"

"You are such a drama queen."

"Lily darling," Their mother intervened, "Go get ready, we are already late."

Just as she was about to go get ready when she heard the doorbell rang. Her father answered it and she heard the dreaded voice of James Potter as his body appeared in her living room. "What are you doing here?" Lily asked hostilely.

"I am returning the bags that you left when you were in such a rush to get home." He replied sweetly.

"Well that was very nice of you son. Lily your friend should come to dinner with us." Her father said merrily.

"I'm James Potter, and I'd love to sir."

"Wonderful."

"No he shouldn't and he is not my friend."

"Lily we have already invited him, so go get ready and we'll leave."

Lily walked up the stairs swearing under her breath and she looked over to see Petunia weeping quietly in the corner. She came back down a few moments later and felt like she could cry to as she climbed into the car next to James Potter.

Thank you to those who read my original, but I have decided to rewrite, so here is chapter one… again. I still appreciate reviews. Thanks for your time everyone. And don't worry, if you keep reading you will know what the title means 


	2. Chapter 2: My Prince Charming

Potatoes?

Chapter 2: My Prince Charming will be…

Disclaimer: Sadly, I own nothing. It would be pretty sick if I did, wouldn't it?

Rating: K+ for mild language and not too much more.

I'm sorry it took me so long to post chapter two. I got busy and then it slipped my mind. I'm going to try to keep updating it fairly regularly now though. Cross your fingers. So here it goes.

Lily Evans walked in her front door behind her parents and sister, and slammed it shut on the sound of James Potter's voice telling her, "Goodnight, love". She walked up the stairs slowly, grabbing the phone on the way up. After dialing the number and listening to the almost mocking ring she heard a friendly voice on the other line. "Hey Lils," it greeted her.

"My life sucks," she responded bluntly.

"Your life sucks?" Cori's voice echoed.

"I just experienced the longest three hours of my entire existence."

"…"

"I was forced to endure a dinner with not only Petunia, Vernon and his obnoxious family, but also James Potter. I'm not sure which was worse."

"How did that happen?"

"Potter came to drop my forgotten bags off and my ever so hospitable father invited him to dinner."

Cori's chuckles could be heard over the phone. Obviously, she did not understand the pure hell that Lily had been forced to endure. "It's not funny!" Lily whined.

"Not to you it's not. To me on the other hand…"

"Why is this so hilarious to you might I ask?

"Because. He tries so hard and you don't give him the time of day. James Potter is irrevocably in love with you-"

"Irrevocably?"

"Yes, irrevocably. And I don't know if you don't see it or don't want to accept it, but I think you like being treated like you're all that."

"I do not! Besides, he is horrible to me. He uses stupid nicknames, he plays immature jokes. How does that prove that he is 'irrevocably in love with me'"?

"He is a teenage guy; he is incapable of romance."

"I do not believe that there isn't a teenage guy on the planet who is capable of being romantic."

"You keep holding out for Prince Charming then."

"I will."

"But remember that James is there, you should give him a chance. You never know maybe he looks like a frog, but if you kiss him he's turn into a prince."

"That was a horrifically corny."

"I do what I can."

From downstairs the earsplitting screech of Petunia Evans devoured the house, "Freak! Get off of the phone!"

"I've gotta go," Lily confessed, "before Petunia decides to kill me."

She heard the finality of the click as she hung up the phone. What was that girl thinking? There was no way that James Potter was her Prince Charming. She pulled out a piece of paper and devised her criteria.

_My Prince Charming will be…_

_Handsome_

_Intelligent_

_Funny_

_Loving_

_Romantic_

_Fun to Talk to_

She read it over more than once before deciding that it was complete. She slid the scrap of paper into a small envelope and tossed it into her trunk that was preparing for her upcoming return to Hogwarts. As she did so, she thought to herself that James Potter was none of those things.


End file.
